Harry Potter and the bottled flatulence
by Iorek Weasley
Summary: the guys discover a little bottle and all hell breaks loose. please r/r and dont nit pick


a/n: thankyou everyone who reviewed my first story!!!!!  
you guys rock!  
  
  
  
  
disclaimer: j.k.r. owns all names and stuff eca eca....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
harry potter and the bottled flatulence....  
  
  
setting: in snapes office  
  
  
harry: jeez, this place stinks!  
  
hermione: duh, this is the oldest office in the castle  
  
harry: how do you know?  
  
hermione: havent you ever read "hogwarts, a history"?  
  
harry: no  
  
hermione:well, do so!  
  
harry: no  
  
ron: when you two stop flirting...  
  
harry: SHUT UP RON!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
ron: ...we can look for some stuff!  
  
harry: hey look guys, a locked cupboard  
  
hermione: ALAHOMORA!  
  
harry: nothing happened  
  
ron: duh!  
  
hermione: thats it, im sick of this!  
  
**hermione kicks the cupboard, it opens**  
  
ron: uuuuuuhhhhhh!!!!! that stinks worse then harrys feet!  
  
hermione: um, guys, look at this little bottle  
  
**she lifts a little bottle out of the cupboard, with a greeny brown  
tinge to the liquid inside**  
  
hermione: it has a little label on it  
  
the label reads:   
  
ODOR HORRIBILIS  
  
hermione: who speaks latin?  
  
harry: huh, what?  
  
hermione: oh bugger it, lets go to the common room  
  
**they go to the common room, hermione pockets the bottle**  
  
**in the common room**  
  
hermione: guys, um, should we open this thing or what?  
  
ron: why not, its just a potion  
  
harry: it could be dangerous guys  
  
**ron opens the bottle slowly**  
  
all three: er.....  
  
ron: run for cover!  
  
harry: it'll kill us all!!!  
  
**hermione drops the bottle, it smashes everywhere**  
  
everyone in the common room: arrrrrrghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!  
  
for you see, it stinks like nothing you've ever smelt before  
  
**in dumbledores office**  
  
dumbledore: pooohhh! fawkes, have you been at the school dinners again?  
  
fawkes: sqawk!  
  
**fawkes starts to fly around, but bumps into things on the way, and faints**  
  
dumbledore: ooooohhhhhhh, im dizzy, must send owl to ministry, aahhhhh  
  
**dumbledore sends owl to ministry explaining his crisis**  
  
**about an hour later, three ministry wizards appear at the gates,  
complete with vacum cleaners**  
  
ministry wizard 1: pooooh, what a stink!  
  
ministry wizard 2: um, guys.....  
  
ministry wizard 3: oh my god, everyone in the school is-  
  
ministry wizard 2: dead!  
  
ministry wizard 1: no, unconscious der brain  
  
ministry wizard 2: well, um, we should put on masks...  
  
**the 3 ministry wizards put on masks**  
  
ministry wizard 1: quickly! vacum cleaners!  
  
**all 3 ministry wizards turn on thier vacum cleaners, sucking up the smell**  
  
ministry wizard 2: oh my god, its.....  
  
ministry wizard 1: smelly!   
  
ministry wizard 3: no!  
  
ministry wizard 1: its a potergeist!  
  
ministry wizards: arrrrgghhhhh!!!!!!!!  
  
peeves: arrrrghhhhhh!!!!!!!  
  
**peeves gets sucked into the vacum cleaner**  
  
ministry wizards: my god!  
  
**the vacum cleaner suddenly starts flying around and screaming**  
  
ministry wizards: WADIWASI!  
  
**the vacum cleaner falls down, cursing**  
  
vacum cleaner: mmmphhh....bastards.....mmmmphh........it...stinks..in...here...  
..mmmphhh  
  
ministry wizard 1: hes stuck in there  
  
ministry wizard 2: duh  
  
ministry wizard 3: yeah, duh, heh heh heh  
  
ministry wizard 1: screw you guys!  
  
**the ministry wizards leave**  
  
**the scool starts to regain conscesnious(yes, i know i cant spell)**  
  
==much later==  
  
**dumbledore, snape, harry, hermione, ron and peeves are in dumbledores office**  
  
dumbledore: so, you thought you could have a look in professor snapes office  
  
harry, hermione and ron: yes sir  
  
dumbledore: and steal!!!  
  
harry, hermione and ron: yes sir  
  
dumbledore: and cause havok!  
  
harry, hermione and ron: yes sir  
  
dumbledore: detention!!!!!  
  
hermione: no!!!! my record!!!!!  
  
ron: joy, another howler!  
  
harry: it was rons idea!   
  
ron: liar! it was yours!  
  
hermione: it was mine!!!  
  
harry and ron: yours???  
  
hermione: i want the credit!!!  
  
harry and ron: fine by us   
  
**they leave**  
  
dumbledore(to the vacum cleaner): peeves, well   
have you out of there soon, ok?  
  
peeves: fine **gasp** by me!  
  
**the vacum cleaner vibrates and swears a bit**  
  
  
  
the end!  
  
a/n was it funny? its a bit weak i know, but dont lose faith!   
im writing another already!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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